Why doctors and coaches need to retreat for balance

In retreat, in the quiet, we can listen for our true selves and reconnect to our own meaning.

The world is incredibly noisy. There is so much junk to sift through. I find it tricky to work out what to attend to, what to read, listen to, watch. Is it just me?

Doctors in the UK and NZ have been striking. Surgeons are frustrated about not being able to do their work because there are not enough technicians or nurses to assist them. Emergency departments don’t have enough senior doctors or nurses to guide and support the juniors, who are learning their craft in an already high stress environment.

Patients have comorbidities and complex needs with social causes that are terrible for wellbeing, like poor housing and low health literacy. They are often alone and lonely, far away from their natural family support people and bereft of meaning.

As a doctor working every day in these conditions, can be full of meaning and full of overwhelm. As a coach we are at risk of mirroring the coachee’s experience, of identifying with their confusion, distress or overwhelm. It’s relatively easy to get entangled or enmeshed in all of this complexity as a coach.*

Both doctor and coach can want to turn to more education, more tips and tricks, more books, podcasts. That thought and feeling of I need to learn more, know more, manage time better, is a well learned habit for most. And often serves us well. Sometimes it’s simply more noise.

The human body maintains equilibrium through a careful balance of action, movement and rest, using both the sympathetic and the parasympathetic axes of the nervous systems. Listening to this body wisdom is key to balance. Doctor and coach can both benefit from withdrawing, retreating from the coal face of our work. In fact, we must if we are to avoid the kind of confusion and overwhelm that can cause harm to our counterparts. Rest is critical to achieving balance in the short and long term.

Some other things can happen in the quiet space of retreat. As we relax into the space we relax into our bodies, we attune, opening hearts and minds.

Open to learning, open to connection, compassion, care. Curious.

I am a much better coach, patient, friend, human because of this regular practice of retreat. *which is why we ask that our coaches are accredited and encourage career long supervision.

Thich Nhat Hahn has been an important teacher for me, one of my favorite books of his is You Are Here (2009).